I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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