My nipple is on Facebook.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
