I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
