True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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