its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize