i need an iv and a liver transplant
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
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