i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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