I'm gonna have a badass scar
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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