is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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