is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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