just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
