enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
