I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think my moral compass just broke
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
