she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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