theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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