Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
