Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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