she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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