butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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