i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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