So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you didnt know i had herpes?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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