FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
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Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
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My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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