I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize