IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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