Whod you bang
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
