So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize