Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
