Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
