WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
