Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
