Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
