If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
