There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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