Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
