matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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