i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
bring money and cleavage
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
