I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
