so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The air taste purple.
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