we have officially lost it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
