I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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