I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
