You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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