there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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