It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
