I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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