Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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