im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm at about main and main street
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
