Who wears a wallet chain?!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
