okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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