You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
