"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
