dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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