I need help removing her.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
