I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
