I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
