it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude i'm inner monologue high
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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