I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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